Those who ask, don’t get. Or do they?
A lot of times I get a question that starts something like:”It might sound stupid…” or “I’m sorry to ask, but…”. I always tell my clients that no question is stupid, only the ones not asked. I encourage them to ask questions, because that’s how they learn and grow. But why does it seem so hard to ask for advice, for help, or just questions? Beacuse that’s how we grew up. We were told so, over and over again. Language is a strange thing. The more we hear certain words, sentences or quotes, we tend to believe them, take them for the truth and it’s hard to change those beliefs, at least on your own.
Question: is this a chair?
This seems very obvious, right? For “us adults” it is a chair. Have you ever questioned what a child thinks it is, before it is “brainwashed?” For a child it can be a device to get on the table, a rocket to bring it to the moon, a hiding place when playing hide-and-seek, a shelter when it’s raining, a race car driving it on the track, whatever. Their imagination is limitless. Nowadays it’s “just” a chair…… Because we limit ourselves. We have been drilled to see it as a chair, we don’t question our beliefs and now it has become reality.
The power of words
The same goes for mentioned saying: “Those who ask, don’t get”. Who hasn’t heard this as a child? I guess we all grew up with this saying. When people constantly say this to you, you start accepting it as a truth. And then you become an entrepreneur. And you have to start asking for things….. For help, for a testimonial, for money, for the close. You feel a bit ashamed, you want to do things on your own. Sounds familiar? Now ask yourself this question: why? Why do you feel ashamed? Why do you want to do things on your own?
If you don’t ask, you’ll never get anything. When I’m in a training, I sit front row and ask questions. Because I’m there to learn. If I don’t understand something, or want a deeper explanation, I ask. I don’t care what others think, I’m there to learn.
Asking for help
My wife and I have 2 adopted boys. First thing we did when they arrived, was asking for video interaction guidance from the Adoption Aftercare. Not because we were unsure about our role as parents, or questioned our qualities, but we wanted to give the boys the best start possible and use the knowledge and experience of specialists that have seen numerous adopted children. And since the help was offered, why not ask for it? A fellow entrepreneur wanted to buy a house, but the bank wouldn’t lend him the money. So he asked around. People were amazed, why would he do that? Shouldn’t you keep your financial struggles to yourself? Well, he didn’t. Four days later had his money. A friend of a friend of a friend had sold his company and wanted to invest his money and help other entrepreneurs.How? Well, he just asked around.
Do you have a coach?
This is my 4th year as an entrepreneur, and I’ve asked several coaches for help. I’m still being coached and will be using coaches in the future. Because I don’t see my own blind spots. For me, coaching is the shortcut to success. I learn every day, from my coaches, fellow entrepreneurs, my clients. And I ask questions. It’s all about the mindset. How’s yours?